Grey Barn Gone

This one is going to be hard, but who said life would be easy?

Somebody bought the farm. Ha! Not in, as the cliche goes, but as in, my parents sold the farm.  Well, I guess they didn't really sell the farm land, as much as they sold the barns and farmhouse.

It was getting so hard to stay there.  But it would be hard to leave, as well.

Choose your hard.

 I've been dealing with the logistics all summer long ... even planned a sort of "retirement" party which turned into a wonderful celebration of the farm, faith, and family legacy.  We also held a household auction which turned into one of my fondest memories ~ thanks to my daughters, my niece Ariel and her husband Matt with the one "great" who made it to the auction!!

And here, I'd like to thank my sister Ruth (and her family) without whom, we simply could not have done all there was to do.  Thank you Ruth for your trips, your wine, your work, and most of all, your friendship. You are the best!

As I look back now, my fondest memories are times spent together there with our children and grandchildren. And this is where my heart started to crack. In early August, we celebrated one last time in the party shed, The tears spilled for a spell, as they pulled out of the drive and waved thru their own tears. Tears for their grandparents hearts, tears for their childhood nostalgia, tears for their children whose memories would soon fade, and tears for the children yet to be that will not share those memories.

So then we moved mom and dad into town and us back to Michigan.

And then it hit me. It did not help that amidst the boxes and tubs of our packed life, I sat down to go thru some pics for this blog post (and to disperse to extended family) and Vince Gill, Alison Krauss, and James Taylor thought they needed to chime in on my emotional reverie.

In a hundred years from now
I know without a doubt
They'll all look back and wonder how
We made it all work out ~ Look At Us ~ Vince Gill

Once the decision was made to sell, the next big problem was what to do with all the "stuff".  It all seemed to fall on my unwilling and minimalist shoulders. To purge or not purge, that was the question. 
I leaned through it all that I am, by no means, a minimalist. 
Before you judge me, think about "taking down" your whole household! And then think about "taking down" your parents whole household. 
It was hard. 

Choose your hard.

“Somewhere down the line, the accumulation of stuff from generations before will be too much for one to carry.” No Sidebar's post "A Guide to Letting Go of Sentimental Things"

After all was said and done came the hardest part. Saying goodbye.
I woke up early most mornings just to watch the sunrise one last time from over the lawn and shed where we danced at weddings.
I stayed up late to watch the shadows lengthen fast on the generational lawn where I laid under trees to read, asked Jesus into my heart, played kick the can as a teenager, taught all my children how to swim, and shared the wonder of trains with my grandchildren.

I sorted, cleaned, and then took pictures of the empty rooms and a clean barn, all the while wondering why my heart did not hurt more.

My head has known since the first of the year, when the young farmer called and said he'd buy! But the dam finally broke yesterday when my heart realized I would most likely never return to that space and place in time.

This farm will always be where my stories originated and I will NOT change the name of this blog ... "Grey Barn Stories"
This was my home and family and I loved the first 18 and last 7 years I spent there. But extended family is elsewhere and my Michigan family has been calling me home.

It was MY childhood home and farm, but it was JUST a house and some out buildings.

I walk the floor and wonder what went wrong
I'll have to find a way to carry on
Why don't you leave before the heartache starts to show
Take your memory with you when you go. ~  Vince Gill

Though our pathways have parted 
To your memory I'm true 
Guess I'll stay broken-hearted 
How's the world treating you?Chet Atkins via ~ James Taylor & Allison Krauss

Coming soon ~ Photos put to music ...
And you know me, I'm struggling here for song choice
Home Where I Belong ~ BJ Thomas
Come Home, It's Suppertime ~ Joey & Rory
Holy Spirit, Thou Art Welcome Here ~ The Sisters
Take Your Memory With You ~ Vince Gill
Blessed Assurance ~ Third Day

Or maybe I'll go with a something a little more recent and truer to the story I want to tell ..
Maybe a little ... Zach Williams, Eric Church, Maren Morris, or Jordan Feliz

It will be hard to put this montage together, and it will be hard to watch it roll.

Choose your hard.